I was reminded of a truth this week. And if one buys into much of the rhetoric of the day, this truth came from an unlikely source; or, sources, as it were.

Why unlikely? Well, my reminder of truth came from my nineteen year old daughter and her friends. And in today’s cultural landscape, this same demographic is labeled as “snowflakes” or “weak.” They seem to be constantly faced with the overwhelming challenges my, and my parent’s generations have created, but are also told they are incapable of the mental toughness it takes to survive; let alone thrive.

So what is the truth I speak of? Hold your horses, I’m getting to that…

Let me first tell you a little bit about these young women. And to do this, I will begin by stating that these young people are the furthest thing from “snowflakes.” In fact, they give me a true hope for the future.

For as far back as I can remember into my daughter’s school days, these girls have been together—in one way or another. And as an outsider looking in, one might wonder how they became friends at all. Some are introverts, some are extreme extroverts. Some are loud (and occasionally obnoxious), some are quiet. Yet in the midst of these difference, they have been fast friends for years.

I love the fact that they try hard to stay connected. As they have begun to move into the season of college and/or careers, they still stay in touch. This past week was a perfect example. Just like the dozens of times throughout their high school years, these Yahoo’s ended up hanging out in the Ladiski basement, laughing, talking, and simply being the goofballs that they are. (I absolutely love their company—but let’s keep that between us, I have a reputation to uphold!)

As with many of their previous visits, there was a moment of pretty deep discussion. This time, the topic of the day—as it is in current public discourse—was abortion.

No, I am not going to go there. That’s not the purpose of this post. Abortion is a topic that is way too emotionally, politically, morally, scientifically, religiously, and “otherly” charged and polarizing. (Yes, I probably could have included more than a dozen other adverbs in that list.) This post, nor the discussion with a group of young adults in my basement, will satisfactorily end the debate.

Where I do want to take this post is how this discussion played out. You will remember that I stated these young women have their own unique personalities. They also come from different backgrounds. Some are churchgoers, some are not. Some could be considered liberal, some conservative, and some smack dab in the middle. Some have the “traditional” American family unit, some don’t. (By “traditional” I mean one mom, one dad, 2.5 kids, and a dog—by the way, have you ever wondered how one get half a kid? So weird!) All this to say that these young women, at least in some accounts, are a decent representation of the differences we see in today’s public discourse.

The debate began a little disorganized with each of them trying to talk over each other. But that was soon fixed by the use of the “talking monkey.” (The “talking monkey” was a coaster with a monkey face on it. To have the floor, one had to have the coaster in hand and be limited to two minutes of talking before passing it on to the next person.) As each of them spoke, I became more and more impressed. Each had really good, well thought-out arguments for their points. And when they didn’t have an intelligent point, they didn’t BS each other, they simply stated that they “didn’t know” or that hadn’t yet “thought it through” adequately. And when there was strong disagreement (and believe me, there was disagreement), they would “agreed to disagree” and moved on.

When the debate time ended, guess what happened. Fight? No. Ridicule? No. Berating each other on perceived naiveté? No! When the debate ended and they began to leave, they hugged each other like they always do. They were smiling and laughing like they always do when together. They parted ways maintaining the strong friendships they had when they arrived!

So here is the truth I was reminded of: relationship matters! In fact, it seems to be a key component missing in many of the debates happening today. Relationship reminds us of the humanity of the person we may disagree with and it helps us to speak with a spirit of love instead of a desire to win. Think about it, what good is it to “win” a debate and lose a friendship—or, worse yet, destroy the other person’s spirit?

I am so thankful for the friend group my daughter has. Furthermore, each time I see these young people, I have more and more hope for a bright future. Yes, these “snowflakes” have taught me that they are very well equipped to face the challenges before them—and to do so with respect and love for others!

What are your thoughts on this post? I’d love to hear them! Please comment below to start a conversation, or feel free to contact me privately.

Be well…

P.S. If you have a story to tell and would like to join Jim Ladiski Writes as a guest blogger, please contact me!