A guest blog post by Andrea Moore…

People and life events shape us. This fact allows a single event to change us forever.

For me, Tuesday evening at 7 p.m. drew a line in the sand of my life. The doctor walked into my father’s hospital room and summarized the results of the CT scan. The doctor was articulate and well spoken. He used carefully chosen words to describe the CT findings as I held my father’s hand as he lay in his hospital bed.

While I heard the doctor’s words, I could not comprehend them in that moment. Compassion radiated from his eyes as I asked him to say the words to me again. The magnitude of his words was too great to be absorbed on the first listen. 

As he said the words a second time, I squeezed my father’s hand even tighter hoping to make the meaning of his words be different, but the meaning of his words remained the same. The reality of his words made time stand still and I am forever different. 

I did not realize the impact of the words on me until Thursday. That morning had been especially hard for my father in the hospital. I advocated on his behalf and I helped provide basic care for him. 

After he was over the rough spot and settled into his hospital bed for a nap, I left the hospital to go to my office to work for a couple of hours. I needed a couple hours of normalcy that day for my own selfish sake. I needed to be in an environment that I had some control over, as everything else in my life felt out of control. 

As I walked through the rows of cubicles, was greeted by my coworkers, and answered emails, I soon realized the impact of the doctor’s words on me. I do not care about the same things anymore. I care about time and opportunities!

• I want time to soak in as much of my father as possible.
• I want opportunities for long talks with him about everything and nothing, the kind of talks that occur when you do not feel the pressure of time growing short.
• I want to cook together and share the simple experiences of everyday life with him.
• I want to play game after game of cribbage with him; enjoying the laughter and teasing that occurs within each hand of cards.
• I want to needle him when his beloved University of Michigan teams lose. 

But most of all, I want the doctor’s words to be not true.

• I do not want my father to hurt.
• I do not want my father to suffer.
• I do not want my father to have to fight for his life, yet, I do not want my father’s life to end.

I do not want to know what life is like without my father in it.

I have not shared this experience with you to discuss the specifics of my father’s illness or to look for sympathy. I shared this deeply personal experience to ask for prayers. It would be so appreciated if you could take a moment to lift my father, Gary Smith, up in prayer today and in the days to come.

I so appreciate Andrea’s willingness to be so vulnerable and real! If you are the praying type, will you join me in praying for Gary, and for his entire family?

Please comment below to start a conversation and to offer Andrea some encouragement, or feel free to contact me privately.

Be well…

P.S. If you have a story to tell and would like to join Jim Ladiski Writes as a guest blogger, please contact me!